Being A Parent
- Being a parent is like being pecked to death by a duck.
- Raising teenagers is a lot like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
- Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
- Your life's "Golden Age" is the period in your life when your kids
are too old to require a baby-sitter and too young to take the car.
- Shouting at your children to get cooperation is about the same as
steering your car using the horn . . . same results.
- To be in your children's memories tomorrow one must be in their life today.
- The best advice regarding raising your children is to really enjoy
them while they are still on your side.
- A home's temperature is best maintained by warm hearts, not cold
words or hot heads.
- The Joy of Motherhood: What a woman experiences after she puts the
last tyke to bed.
- Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so
that he or she can tell when they are really in trouble.
- Your children may outgrow your lap . . . but never your heart.
- God gave you two ears and only one mouth, so that you may listen
twice as much as you speak.
- The only true child experts are those that do not yet have any of
- Cleaning house with the children at home is a lot like snowblowing
during a blizzard.
- There are only two things that your child is absolutely willing to
share: Communicable Diseases and their mother's age.
- Why is it that we can't get a child to read the Bible at home, but
when in prison they will?
- Remember this? "When you grow up and have children of your own, I
hope that they are just like you!" It worked.
- How come your Dad never had money for the ice cream man but after a
visit with Grandpa your kids "jingle"?
- True genetics have nothing to do with hair and eye color. It's their
occurrence of such things as "Who said life was fair," and "Because I
said so!" when you swore you'd never use those on your kids.
- Practice what you preach even covers never letting them see you snag
those Ding Dongs for breakfast.